Queer as Choice

If you’re unaware of what has been going on in the news lately, there’s been a lot of talk, as is similar to the last five or so years, of the Queer community in America.

I’d like to just put it out there, that for those of you who assume otherwise, I am using the term “queer” as an inclusive and empowering term. While this term has been deemed derogatory by many, including many members of the Queer community due to the past use, the Queer community is taking it back.

Again, if you haven’t heard, in the past month, there have been numerous suicides that have been attributed to Anti-Queer bullying (referred to as LGBT in the Media, yet that is still much too restrictive, as some of the individuals did not self-identify as LGBTQ, but were merely perceived as LGBTQ). Some of the individuals who have taken their lives were as young as twelve or thirteen years old. Others were in college. In response to this, Dan Savage created a series entitled, “It Gets Better”. What this does is encourage individuals, usually adults, to create videos about harassment that they received and to let the younger generations know that “it gets better”.

Many of these videos share similar themes: a sad story, followed by empowering words. I enjoy these videos, and for anyone who possibly reads this who may think otherwise, it DOES get better.

Additionally, some of the other headline news stories include a Federal Judge ruling DADT unconstitutional and appeals to this ruling, numerous attacks, especially in the New York City area on queer individuals, and countless stories surrounding the upcoming November Elections.

One that has stuck out recently to me is the story of the Colorado GOP candidate, Ken Buck.

Below is a transcript of a small portion of the interview with Buck:

Gregory: “Do you believe that being gay is a choice?”

Buck: “I do”

Gregory: “Based on what?”

Buck: “Based on what? I guess you can choose who your partner is”

There are a couple things that I find interesting. Ken Buck first seems to say that being gay is inherently a choice, but then switches, although not explicitly, to taking on the gay identity is a choice.

People constantly say that being gay is a choice. Well I can tell you from personal knowledge, it is not a choice. I did not choose to be attracted to other men. However, I know that those who do not agree will not be changed by that simple statement.

I will say, however, that I am one to argue that expressing that desire and acting on that attraction is a choice.

One common argument when people say it’s a choice is to counter with, “well, when did you choose to be heterosexual/straight?” Often, the other person is stummped here, as they realize there was not a defining moment when they woke up in the morning and said, “I am straight”.

I find it interesting, though, when people bypass the “gay is a choice” argument, and move on to the “expressing that is the choice” argument. To which I believe there can be an effective counter.

Fairly recently, I was involved in a nice civilized conversation with someone who firmly believes that the expression of my queerness is a choice; this person is also very religious and expresses it. So I asked this individual a question.

“Do you believe your religion is a choice?”

 

While the answer here can vary depending on the religious fervor of the individual, the followup question and answer has not in the past for me differed greatly.

To follow up, I asked, “Would you ever openly express a religion other than your own and claim that it is your religion?”

The answer has been no. Why, because it would by lying.

A similar notion is held by those individuals who openly identify as queer. Why would we AND why should we want to hide who we are after we finally feel comfortable to fully express ourselves?

Who's to Blame?

So I'm sitting here reading status updates on facebook. A common thing for me to do, it tends to make my morning better, at least when I see certain updates/comments.

One of my favorite things to see is when students get in trouble either by the cops or residence-hall staff (CAs usually) and they complain about this.

I wonder when people will realize that they need to take responsibility for their own actions. It is not the fault of CAs or the Police that people were caught. I can't say how many times I have confronted rooms because I hear something along the lines of "Chug, Chug, Chug!" or, "I bet you can't take all of those shots!". (What makes it better is when the people inside the room try to claim that they didn't say that).

Where am I going with this?

Well, first and foremost, rules are in place for a reason, as are laws. It is illegal to drink before 21. I am not perfect, I drank before I was 21. Back in high school I drank, and freshmen year of college I drank. However, I was not stupid about it. I never got caught.  Then, however, I became a CA. Becoming a CA has drastically changed my views on many issues.

To hear people say that we as CAs and other university officials are ruining their lives is incredibly comical. It is their own fault.

What this post boils down to is a call for people to take responsibility for their own actions. Don't be mad at CAs, don't be mad at University Police. The only person you have to be mad at is yourself.

/End Rant

A Gleeky Madonna

So I will admit it; I am a gleek!

For those of you who don't know or are not tuning in Tuesday nights to watch it, Glee is a television show on Fox that follows a high school glee club, New Directions. The club initially consists of 6 females and 6 males. But it's sort of a "musical" style show. There are anywhere from ~4-7 songs in each hour-long episode. The songs range from pop, to rock, to rap, to hip-hop. Every kind of song has been played by numerous artists; everyone can enjoy some music in the show.

*Side note: I will admit, that there is quite a lot of drama in the show, of which I am not a fan, but the music is absolutely fantastic; it is the reason I watch the show.

But anyway, this most recent episode of Glee appropriately entitled, "The Power of Madonna" contained only Madonna songs.

The entire episode was about empowerment of everyone as well as changing perceptions and attitudes towards others.

It was, drama aside, one of the best episodes of Glee that has aired so far.

My favorite scene from this episode contained this song (this is the Glee Version, just not the clip). It was the song, "What it Feels Like For a Girl"; however, what made the song really interesting was that it was sung entirely by guys.

You can find the lyrics here.

The whole scene, though, is really a powerful scene, hopefully one that will change the perceptions of viewers surrounding masculinity and femininity.

After the song, one of the main male characters, Puck (a typical jock) started off an interesting conversation.

Puck: I'm not doing this, I like being a dude!
Finn: That's because it's easy to be a dude
Puck: Uhh, Mr. Schue, I think we're going to need a new baritone because Fine would like to become Finnessa.
Schuester: Woah wait hold on now Puck, Finn has a point.

Essentially, what Glee is doing is showing the world that it's ok for guys to be feminine and girls to be masculine, and that it's not ok for guys to objectify women (a major portion of the continued conversation).

I will say this, "The Power of Madonna" episode has only strengthened my appreciation for Madonna.

*End note - This is my last official class blog post. I do, however, intend to continue blogging. While the topics now are not as limited, I can guarantee you most of the major themes mentioned in the last 20 posts will remain a dominating presence.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

The other day, I was talking with a friend about how the concept of "love" is really lost by our generation, and certainly lost by the upcoming generation. If not lost, it is under appreciated. At first, I really had mixed feelings on this subject. I was not sure why I had these feelings, nor was I sure, after greater deliberation, where I stood on this subject.

Both my friend and I admitted to us being fairly old-fashioned in the sense that it takes us a while to physically say those "magic words", "I love you". Looking back on some of my past relationships, even the longest ones, I have not said "I love you" to any of my significant others. Granted, part of this may be due to the fact that some lasted no longer than a month.

This really got me thinking. Do I take too long to love someone, or does everyone else seem to jump to the "love" stage too quickly?

My thought on this, people jump in way too quickly.

Based on observations of my friends, I see too many people who jump in right away towards the love direction. Rather than taking their time to make sure that they really love the other person, they, after two or three dates even, skip to the love state.

This, I have heard, is referred to as the "honeymoon state". What I consider this to be is a state where people put on a different persona for the first couple of dates trying to impress the other individual. In doing so, they give off a far different aspect of who they really are. Because of this, it is easy to see why this honeymoon stage leads to "love". However it is after this stage that the true nature of a person comes out; this is when love is shattered and hearts are broken, despite the short-lived relationship.

I would like to say that I haven't committed this same "act" of falling for someone too early in a relationship, but I have not gotten to that "love" stage. To me, the word 'love' is a very powerful word; this is the same with the opposite word: hate.word on the other end of the spectrum: hate. Love and hate are the epitome of these positive and negative feelings towards another person. There is this spectrum that, for me, is very hard to feel these emotions towards anyone. It takes a long time.

What are your thoughts on love and our generation?

America is not Ready?

AT&T's new promotion - "Rethink Possible": What they see as possible in their new commercial is a future of the United States where the 57th president is exactly what it has been until Obama.

The commercial starts out with an announcer saying, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the 57th President of the United States". During this scene, it shows a white, middle-aged male stepping up to a balcony to greet the audience.

For a company that has the new slogan, "Rethink Possible", one would think that they would not want to use what is possible, and let's face it, probable in the next Presidential election.

Rather than a white, middle-aged man, they should have used a woman, or another person of color.

What really got me about this commercial is that they had a man again as president. With Sarah Palin coming up as the likely GOP candidate, and an unknown (possibly Hilary Clinton?) as the likely Democratic Nomination, it is very possible to have two front-runner candidates that are women. Although, it is unlikely, as unfortunate as that is to say, that we will have a female president soon.

With Obama's approval rating dropping almost daily, I fear that many people will say, "well look what happened with Obama!" or other similar phrases.

I feel that AT&T does not think that it's possible to have a female president as our Nation's 57th president, yet, this is what their whole new ad campaign revolves around, rethinking (the) possible. Maybe we're not ready yet?

Sexist Friends on Facebook

So, I was checking out Facebook today and I noticed something interesting. Some of my friends joined this group.

Basically, it's called, "Why do women go to college? they don't need a degree to make a sandwich".

What makes this really interesting...is that most of the friends who joined it...were women! Clearly, they have not taken this class.

This is one of those isolated incidents that to those who joined, doesn't mean anything. They see it as a joke. Of course we know that this is not the case. Each of these isolated incidents perpetuates the stereotypes and negative attitudes towards independent women.

It's just frustrating that people do not realize what this really does. In addition, they just don't realize what it says about them.

As mean as it may be to say, I am interested to see how many negative experiences people have due to their Facebooks: pictures, statuses, groups, etc. All of these may affect job opportunities in their future. If only they listened during Freshmen Orientation!

Everything is Drag...

So last night (Friday, April 9th) Rainbow Alliance for HOPE held their 10th annual Drag Show here at UW Oshkosh. This event is one of my favorite events to attend during what is now called Rainbow Week (it used to be called BGLAD week). 

Every year, HOPE brings in a professional company for a night of fun. This year, however, (as well as last year) they are introducing local talent. At this year's performance, they had two UW Oshkosh students, one, Duane, a graduate student, and the other, our class' very own Garret!


Unfortunately, I do not have pictures of these two performing, because I took video. But I will post some random pictures of the professional company. 

Seeing this drag show reminded me of Judith Butler when she says, "drag constitutes the mundane way in which genders are appropriated, theatricalized, worn, and done" (Imitation and Gender Insubordination). (Side note: While I love reading Butler, I do not recommend her to most people...she's tough to get through!)


But one of the things that Butler is saying in her essay is that everyone does drag every day of their life. When you wake up in the morning (whether or not you are feeling like P-Diddy...hehe), and you put on your clothes, those clothes are all drag. 


We can even look to the famous RuPaul in saying, "we all came into this world naked, the rest of it is all drag".

The atmosphere of the drag show was absolutely unbelievable. The underground was packed! It was so difficult for people to get anywhere, even the performers who braved going out into the audience. All-in-all, it was an amazing night, and I would recommend, if you have the chance, to go and see your first professional Drag show! It will change the way you think about the world...especially because some of the performers...you wouldn't be able to tell if you didn't know...

An Interesting Comic

One of the sites that I really enjoy when it comes to making me laugh is www.explosm.net. They have comics such as the one above as well as short comedic clips based on these drawings. While I can see how some may consider these sexist, I also feel that many of them are satirical and make a comment based on the relations between the sexes.

The Menaissance - Brett McKay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AxLaCltp2o&feature=player_embedded
Link is in case you want to view the features of youtube. Some of the options are cut off due to the style and layout of the blog.




One of the first questions posed by Brett is "What happened to real men?"

To answer this, he goes on to talk about the "three lame excuses for manliness": The Metrosexual, The Dumb Dad, and The Manboy.

He then claims that there are three reasons that these three types of men came about: Feminism, Absent Dads, and Consumerism.

McKay angers me...for the most part.

The one aspect of his presentation that did not upset me is when he said that "there are some things we should leave in the dustbin of history like sexism, homophobia, and racism".

Most of this clip, however, does annoy me, because he claims that there is a "real man" out there; to McKay, men are strong, individuals, and rugged.

There is apparently no room for emotions within McKay's "real men" world.

Compulsive Heterosexuality with a Dash of Privilege

So I was looking at http://contexts.org/socimages/, another site that I frequent, and one of the recent posts was about internet usage.

This post was based on polls taken about what it is used for, if you could live without it, etc.

30% of users said that the internet is a good place to find a boyfriend/girlfriend.

This got me thinking about all of the online dating sites out there.

I checked 4 different sites out: www.Match.com, www.eharmony.com, www.okcupid.com, and www.chemistry.com.

When you go to the homepage of any of these sites, there is always a section to sign up for the site. When I first saw this, a couple things popped out to me.

The first thing was that at each of these sites, the defaults were automatically set to "Female". Are they implying that women tend to use these sites more often than men? (I will note, however, that statistically, this may be the case, I am not sure). Maybe the implication is that women almost need to use these sites whereas men do not.

The second thing I noticed is that there privilege at work. These sites are set up in binaries. When you sign up, you either have to put female, or male. There is no option for the trans individuals out there who also would like their chance at love.

Chemistry.com is the extreme example of these. Match, eHarmony, and OkCupid all contain pull-down menus (which are still defaulted to female), but Chemistry has the (not sure what to call it) circle option.

The third thing that I noticed is compulsory heterosexuality at work. Each site, regardless of format, is set to "I am Female seeking a Male" or some variation thereof. The most extreme example of this is for eHarmony. While they now have the option for same-sex interests (initially, since they are a Christian based organization, they only had heterosexual interests in mind (they also argued that same-sex relationships do not follow their 29 compatible dimensions)), if you change the "I am a _____" from female to male, the "seeking" menu also changes from male to female.

Next, since we're still looking at privilege. On three of these sites (OkCupid being the exception), bisexuality is not even an option. Here, both hetero- and homosexuality are privileged.

And finally, three of these sites (again with OkCupid being the exception) all require monthly payments to receive their services. Now it is those with expendable income that are privileged.

Just some food for thought on how Adrianne Rich graces us once again with her ideas of Compulsive Heterosexuality.

Maybe Males Need...

Maybe males need to brush up on their science...well, most males. An interesting article from www.cracked.com today is titled "6 Things Men Do To Get Laid That Science Says Turn Women Off". The title gives a very brief summary as to what the article is about.

I will note, however, that I recognize that this website is a humor website. Having said that, the authors tend to do their research. Through this, and other similar articles, they link to their sources, many of which are news stories about these studies, some are directly linked to the study themselves.

Here are the 6 things that Men do:
6: Talking To Her
5: Acting Interested
4: Dancing
3: Complimenting Her Looks
2: Being Nice
1: Having the Wrong Name

There are a lot of interesting points made in this article and even this list.

A basic summary of each portion:

6: Talking to Her - Basically, the article and the source says that the more attractive a woman is, the male becomes less intelligent, at least in that moment and shortly after. Science attributes this to the fact that females are generally less interested in looks, whereas males are "reproductively focused". This basically means that men are in it to have sex with an attractive female, so they are unable to think as clearly while alone.
5: Acting Interested - This portion says that women enjoy to be ignored. Well, not in those words. Essentially, it's the whole "you want what you can't have" idea, but this one is more of a "you want what doesn't want you". What's really interesting about this section is that the dating site, OkCupid did a study and realized that men who had profile pictures of themselves were contacted 50% more often if the profile picture was of them NOT looking directly at the camera.
4: Dancing - If you're a good dancer, you're more likely to get a woman according to this study. This idea behind this is that subconsciously, a good dancer, to a woman, shows signs of being a good mating partner. The idea is that a good dancer will have high levels of testosterone.
3: Complimenting Her Looks - This one states that men were rejected more often if they used words like beautiful, glamorous, gorgeous, and other similar words. What did work, was acting interested, not in her, but in her hobbies and pastime activities.
2: Being Nice - Guys, if you want a girl, be the bad guy, at least according to this study. There are three areas that attract a girl to the "bad boy" idea (the study called this the Dark Traid)
- Exploitation
- Callous Behavior
- Self-Obsession
However, the study also notes that while women are inherently attracted to the bad boy, the bad boy also tends to make bade life partners. So...score one for us good guys!
1: Having the Wrong Name - If you're a male, and your name is Michale, James, or David, you can consider yourself lucky. Those three names are the luckiest, most successful, and wealthiest names for men. "Apparently, your first name can drastically influence how successful you are and, yes, even how attractive people think you are."

The best part about reading this article is realizing just how men act. Even at the local bars, college students do these things all of the time. They might as well carry a checklist with the 6 on a card...after an hour, they could probably withdraw themselves from any of the categories; and, if the article is 100% correct, withdraw themselves from any potential sexual encounter that night.

Teeny Weeny Condoms

Yet again, Feministing has supplied me with a wonderful blog topic. A Switzerland-based company is manufacturing small condoms targeted at boys from 12-14 years of age. This couldn't have come at a better time, since this next weeks discussion topic is sexuality.

I have mixed feelings on this issue.

I feel that it is important that boys this young who choose to have sex have the option of condoms that fit them and will work properly for their size.

However, I also feel that doing this encourages sex at that age. Perhaps it is hypocritical of me to say that while I would not encourage sex at that age, I find it interesting that people that young are engaging in sex and exploring their sexuality.

This article notes that the age of consent for Switzerland is 16; however, it also notes that "sex between minors is perfectly legal as long as they are not more than three years apart in age". I think that this is a very interesting law, one that America should consider adopting. I think that the laws need to change with the times; and time are changing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I want to have sex with a minor, but I feel that at age 16, I was informed enough about sex to consent.

Also, I heard that last year at my middle school a party was busted at a house of a student. What was going on? Sex, drugs, and alcohol! This is MIDDLE school, and they got busted for a sex party (along with drugs and alcohol). I also heard of (from my school) an incident where a boyfriend was caught receiving a blowjob from his girlfriend in the woods next to our school! As I said earlier, I encourage people to explore their sexuality, but not at school!

Even reading this post, I'm sure I sound very conflicted on the subject. My writing is kind of all over the place. But this is what happens after a weekend of relatively little sleep, or at least late nights.

A Sad and Disturbing Bar Incident

While perusing www.feministing.com, I came across this article. To summarize it, a female was brutally beaten in a bathroom in a bar after refusing advances from a guy.

The results were a broken eye-socket, shattered jaw, and other injuries.

Pictured on Left: Attacker

What implications does this have on society?

Well, unfortunately, this means that it is even more important for women to go to the bathroom in pairs. I say unfortunately because this should NOT have to happen. Women, as well as men, should feel safe wherever they go; we know, however, that this is not the case.

I can't even think what went through the mind of the guy who did this.

It's unfortunate that someone cannot take rejection. And just looking at the guy, I would have rejected him too!

Heterosexual Privilege (Part 2)

To continue my exploration into the world of heterosexual privilege, I wish to dive even deeper and explore related privileges. (And my references will be focused on a college campus and traditional college-age individuals)

Heterosexuals, as mentioned in the earlier post, have many privileges that the LGBTQ community does not have. In conjunction with the former ones, another privilege that heterosexuals share is the ability to talk about it. Not only talk about it, but it is actually encouraged. How often do you sit down in a public place (the union, a classroom, eateries, etc.) only to overhear the loud and obnoxious talking about a date they had last night, or the rough and wild sex? (And yes, I have heard these conversations)(I will, however, say that I believe it is healthy to talk about sex openly, and that sex is more taboo than it should be, even heterosexual sex). This is something that the LGBTQ community has a much harder time talking about. I know many people who are “ok” with homosexuality…as long as they don’t have to hear about it or see it. So much for being “ok” with it. That’s like me saying, “I accept you for who you are, just don’t talk about it to me”. Silencing someone is one of the worst things you can do.

Perhaps one of the first things when you meet someone that people want to know about is whether or not you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. This leads back to the compulsory heterosexuality mentioned in an earlier blog post. Since I identify as male and masculine, people automatically assume that I am straight. Because of this, the questions asked relate to heterosexuality: “do you have a girlfriend,” “what is your ideal girl,” or “who is the hottest female celebrity?” The list goes on and on. This automatically requires me to do one of two things, either I can lie and keep myself in the closet, or I can come out and risk whatever rejection may come. This is practically a daily occurrence for the LGBTQ community.

Moving on, the next privilege I would like to talk about is that of the coming out process. While not every coming out experience goes horribly wrong, or unbelievably right, inevitably, one will. Every time I (or the rest of the community) come out to someone, my stomach ties itself in knots. Most commonly, or at least the most heard of stories generally start out with “I have something to tell you” or some variation thereof. Immediately after saying these words, 1000s of thoughts rush through my head. These range from embracement, to rejection and every other reaction. While I may seem cool and collected on the outside, inside is a rush of emotions and chaos. There is really no other feeling like it that I have experienced. Coming out, at least for me, is both frightening and exciting. It allows me to be myself with that person for the duration of our relationship.

I feel that this blog is getting a little too long, so it appears there will be a third installment coming in the next couple of days or so, since I feel I have significantly more to say. In the first blog about heterosexual privilege, I made a call at the end. This time, I have an assignment that I believe will yield some interesting reactions for you. To friends you know, to family, call them. Come out to them. Not as something you do not identify as. Come out as yourself. If you’re straight, come out as such, if you’re gay (and comfortable) (notice how I need to add the “and comfortable” to the gay one, but not the straight one), come out as gay to people. However, for the heterosexual people out there, if you use “I have something to tell you”, make sure you pause. Pause for about 10 seconds. Think about the things the LGBTQ community must go through in this 1-20 (the range is much greater, I’m sure) seconds after you say that.

Heterosexual Privilege

Walking through campus here at UW Oshkosh (and I am sure on nearly any other campus across the United States, or, in all reality, nearly every city in the United States) on notices an incredible amount of public displays of affection (PDA).

Really, it's rather sickening. Of all of the privileges I have (unfortunately they exist) as a white male, I also lack many as a (mostly) gay male (a 5 on the Kinsey scale). For the short durations of my relationships, if I were to even consider holding my boyfriend's hand, that could get me in a world of hurt. While UW Oshkosh is relatively liberal compared to some schools, there are still those that feel threatened by same-sex couples; some feel so threatened that they would even revert to violence. This is, sadly, not an unheard of event on our campus, nor many others. Just a couple years ago when the civil union vote was on the ballot, a friend of mine was literally chased through campus, just for being gay.

While I found out about that only after I came out, in hindsight, I both reveled and hated the fact that I was not out. Reveled because I was safe, hated myself for not being out because, A) I was not being true to myself, and B) I am a tough guy, and I can handle myself, as well as stick up for others. But this leads us back to that big question about heterosexual privilege. The LGBTQ community lacks so much of this wonderful privilege granted to the straight community.

PDA, is the biggest example of this privilege. Any heterosexual couple can gladly walk down the street holding hands, stopping to kiss each other, or flirting with each other without skipping a beat. Change one of those sexes to match the sex of the other, and you're in a whole new ball park. People stare. Being in that situation, most certainly, you feel uncomfortable. Aside from that, at times, you can even feel fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of emotional scars, fear of being attacked.  These feelings are generally unknown to heterosexual couples. This in and of itself is a privilege, not having to feel these terrible emotions on a practically day-to-day basis. While there are SAFE (Student and Faculty for Equality) zones across our campus, not every campus has this.

Here is another example of privilege. This can be in high school, it can be in middle school, and yes, it can even exist in college. Anytime there is a dance, be it in a bar, in a school gymnasium, or in a second-party location, there is more and more heterosexual privilege being used. God forbid that I bring my (non-existent) boyfriend to one of these dances. If we danced how we would at a gay club in public like that! We would be shunned, ridiculed, or even worse, attacked. Again, there is a fear factor.

I will say this, however. There is a privilege that the Queer community has that the heterosexual community does not. And that privilege is a community. While some may argue that there is a straight community (and in many ways, there is) it is certainly different than the Queer community. Within the queer community, there is just sheer acceptance (although this is far from the truth in the great Queer community, the Queer community at Oshkosh is different, heck, maybe even unique). I heave met some of the best people, just by being a member. Coming from all walks of life, and each having their own identities provides the community with a unity that the heterosexual community does not have. It is a unity that can only happen with a relatively small group of people. It's indescribable.

I have a statement to make to end this blog post.

For those who will boldly stand out in a crowd (I am now this way, but was not always), I applaud you, and will stand by your side. For those of you who are not comfortable doing that, but are comfortable being out, I will stand by your side. And most importantly, for those of you still in the closet, I will always stand by your side. I understand that there is safety in the closet, trust me, I do. But I want you to understand this; while there may be struggles and hardships coming out, there is always a place for you in our community. I was once in the closet, and I will never go back in, regardless of how much privilege I would regain. I encourage you to find someone who you know will accept you, come out to them! If you cannot find anyone, e-mail me! I will support you in every way I know how to. (e-mail is rojaha54@gmail.com). This statement goes out to everyone. Come out as a straight ally, come out as a Gender Anarchist! Come out as Sex Positive! (Thank you Kate Bornstein). Just, "come out, come out, where ever you are!"

Dial Soap for Men...

So yesterday, I ran out of body wash. While at the store shopping for more, I saw a black bottle with a red label (oh Gendered advertising). It was for Dial - Magnetic. If you're unaware of what this brand is, or claims to do, it is a pheromone enhanced body wash.

Here is a brief rundown of the website:
From that link, you choose one of two areas - "Dial - Magnetic" or "Dial for Men"
If you choose the "Dial-Magnetic" link, you are directed to the second page of that site which asks, "What is your current relationship status?"

The choices are:
1: Utterly Alone
2: Single and Mingle(ing)
3: Hating Dating
4: Relationship Rut
5: Magnetic
Now of course, when you choose one of these options, they do not actually go to different areas. They all lead to the same interactive menu. (I'm wondering if it's just a mini "survey" that Dial uses for some statistic)

So the first message that consumers get when looking at this website is that A) It's wrong to be single (or at least, undesirable)

One of the links, "Magnetic 101", has the second paragraph that states, "We're not saying that our new pheromone enhanced body was will cause you to be attacked by hordes of sex-crazed females, but if that is your end-game, you should consider it a piece of the equation not to be ignored".

When you look at some of the other links, particularly the "How Magnetic Are You? link, you are directed to this message:

Dial for Men Magnetic Attraction Enhancing Body Wash can certainly help you become magnetic, but chemical attraction isn't the only factor. Research has shown time after time that the following factors are of highest importance when a female is choosing her mate: Looks, Personality, Social Status.

So, it seems that the second message that this site is telling us is what Adrianne Rich would refer to as, "Compulsory Heterosexuality". What is compulsory heterosexuality? Basically, it means that people are (for the most part) unconsciously forced into being heterosexual. Nearly every image in nearly every advertisement focuses on heterosexual relationships and attractions. It goes beyond advertising, however. Movies, television shows, family, friends, teachers, etc.; everyone and everything (Aside from the LGBTQ community and its allies) is sending messages that "you're supposed to be straight".

To their credit, the "scientist" explaining the science behind the soap is not the best looking thing on the face of the earth. He actually just seems like the "average" guy. Of course, this is really what advertisers do for males, pick average men, so that they can relate more easily to the product.

Ugh! Men are so Primitive!

The opposite of the title now seems to be true. Recent data gathered based on genetic studies seems to show that men are more highly evolved than women.

The study tested chromosomes in relation to the closes relative: Chimpanzees. The X Chromosome differed by only 2% when put side-by-side with chimpanzee chromosomes, whereas the Y Chromosome (exclusive to Males and intersex individuals) differed by 30%!

This will be one of my shorter posts, since I don't really know what else to talk about in it...just found it interesting!

Higher IQ than Average?

Results of a new study show that a higher IQ means that people are more likely to be liberal, atheists, and a higher IQ in males shows a greater amount of sexual exclusivity. 

According to the results, males with higher IQs are more sexually exclusive, whereas there is little-to-no correlation with females. Scientists believe that there is this difference between the sexes because evolutionarily, there is no benefit for females to have more than one partner, whereas in human history, it was deemed beneficial for males to have multiple partners to ensure the spreading of their genes. 

One of the scientists, Bailey, said that "these preferences [of liberalism, atheism, and sexual exclusivity] may stem from a desire to show superiority or elitism, which also has to do with IQ". 

Liberalism, as they define it for the sake of the study, is, "concern for genetically nonrelated people and support for private resources that help those people". The definition leaves out other areas of "liberal" politics such as gun control, gay rights, and abortion, etc.

I just find this whole article interesting, but particularly the section about the difference between males and females. I have always found the evolutionary role very interesting. 

I see, looking through the comments, that there is much controversy (go figure) raised over this article. What people have to remember is that this is just a generality, and that it does not apply to all people. And although I do not agree with this article entirely...This makes me want to take an IQ test...

Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin' Everywhere

So one of the sites that I frequent is called Cracked.com. This site, updated daily, is a humor site. Every day there are three new articles or videos, or a combination of the two. One of the relatively recent articles (December 31st, 2009).

The author of the article, "Seanbaby", looks at popular songs of the recent years (more specifically hip-hop songs) and has a mathematical formula (somewhat simple, with interesting stipulations) to determine the amount of booty in each song.

The rules for his interpretation are as followed (As found on this article's page)

Booty Per Second Booty Rules
1. The song has to be serious. It’s OK if it seems silly to you, but the artists who wrote and performed the song had to be completely sincere about wanting your ass to shake or be placed on his or her mouth.
2. All synonyms for booty such as rump or junk are acceptable. This is obviously a bit clouded by metaphoric interpretation, so all results should be considered to have a variation of ± .05 Booty Per Second.
3. Always brake for monster booty.
4. The word “it” does not count, even if “it” is clearly referring to a butt. For example, in the Backstreet Boys’ hit, “I Want It That Way.” Or in the end of this sentence: Ha ha suck it, Backstreet Boys.

Now personally, I find this whole website hilarious at many times, despite their seemingly overt heterosexism and sexism. While I would never argue that this site is NOT either, at most times, it is (depending on the author) done tastefully. (Side note: I will say that not all of the authors of the site come off this way, for there are some articles and authors that show great support for feminism and the LGBTQ movement, back to the blog).

The number 1 "winning" song is:

"The Booty Call" by Bass-n-Effect coming it at a whopping .45 Bootys per second!

So what exactly does this mean? It seems to mean that society (or at least Hip-Hop) is absolutely obsessed with the female butt. Part of this, I feel, relates directly to the amount of African-American artists in that group. Almost all of the artists listed there (group artists) are exclusively African-American. The exception is the Black Eyed Peas, but even that is primarily African-American.

This most likely stems from the hyper-masculinity that has arisen in the African-American community. From early in the U.S. History (dated back to colonization and slavery), Africans (and even now to a point African-Americans) are seen as hyper-sexual beings. Apparently, any man (or any race, ethnicity, or national origin) should strive to get "booty" (in all meanings of the word), but more specifically, female booty. Hah! As if that was the case...

Aside from my fair amount of research into this topic (I wrote a paper last semester on the hyper-sexuality of the African-American community), I see this just about every day living in the Residence Halls here on campus or even going to class. There is this notion (that goes beyond the African-American community) that all men should be doing is having sex with women. Just listen in on any given conversation between two "men" (I put that in quotes for very specific reasons, take a guess?) and see how often they are talking about women. You may find the results rather interesting.

Absolutely Furious

American Apparel apparently has absolutely no qualms objectifying women...or men. In a new contest on their website, women and men are asked to submit a picture of their butt wearing only underwear. In the contest, people can then rate the submissions with "the best butt". Although the winner is picked by the staff in the end, there is still this idea of a rating system. Two winners, one male, and one female, will be lucky enough to be flown to L.A., where they will be photographed and be the next "butt" models for American Apparel. The rating system is in place to decide the best ten butts who will each receive a gift bag of AA goodies valued at $300.00!!

In terms of rating, right now, the top two "butts" are: (SucreRoux (Left) and Maria (Right))
                                       

Maria tops out the chart at a 4.19/5 whereas SucreRoux remains strong at3.95/5.

Do women have better butts than men!? The whole foundation upon which I built my world has been cracked!

                                        
So there it is, another corporation creating that standard of beauty, or are they? Are they merely finding out what the public decides to be the standard of beauty for men and women. I feel that it is the first one. They are telling people that only certain women or men are worthy of being their models. One really has to wonder whether or not any of their employees (aside from their models) fit this "standard" that is constantly created and reinforced by corporations as well as the public.

This is exactly the problem, particularly with westernized societies. All of the advertising (aside from a select few campaigns) create a standard of beauty that is relatively unattainable by a majority of society. Well, it can most certainly be attained, but with a LOT of work. Sometimes more work than it's worth.

Just try to imagine a world where people were happy with their bodies and didn't feel the need to "perfect" their bodies, since there would be no "perfect" body.

Oh what a wonderful world that would be...

What really makes me mad about this whole contest is not so much the contest itself (granted if there was no contest, my anger wouldn't exist either) but the comments on the pictures that people post. One girl in the top ten female butts has over 150 comments. Some of these comments include:

(She listed L.A. as her hometown) "You can definitely see why it's called the city of angels!"
(Or, sticking with the religious theme) "The face of god.!!!"
"that is one FINE piece of american apparel ass! hubba hubba wowza weeeeee!!!" (pardon the swear)

It's these objectifying comments that really infuriate me, for it is these comments that create the standard or what is desired. How many girls would have a butt like this? Probably not many. My estimate would lie around 1 out of every 100 girls, maybe? Either way, it's an incredibly small amount. Regardless of the number, it shouldn't matter what your butt looks like!

Apparently there is a "best butt" on the face of the planet and American Apparel is set out to find it!

Just remember, men and women, it shouldn't matter what you look like, you're all beautiful just the way you are!

Lesbian Acts Up!

So I was perusing my usual daily sites, and I came across this interesting Advocate article.

To summarize, Kitty Lambert, a lesbian living in Buffalo N.Y., and her partner wanted to get a marriage license. They were denied. 20 Minutes later, Kitty was married...to a random stranger she picked up at the City Hall. The man agreed to marry her, even though he had never met her previously.

Strolling through the comment sections on this article, many people seem to believe that this was a stupid stunt, that it only hurts the cause of getting marriage rights for the LGBTQ community. In fact, some of the commentators seem to be upset with Lambert's decision, that it just proves to "the religious right", as one person referred to them, that relationships of the LGBTQ community are not taken seriously. I however, believe that it neither supports, nor hurts our cause. If anything, it only shows the whole straight community the flaw withing their own system; that anyone can go get a marriage license, so long as they are a male, and a female. Also, it shows how easy it is for two opposite-sexed people to gain the 1000-something rights afforded to married couples (one of the biggest arguments against Civil Unions)It's an interesting way to protest a system that will not let you in.

I will say, however, that Lambert's protest, although it may affect change within the minds of those who read this article, or those near her while it happened, overall, I feel that it won't have much of an effect.

If Brittany Spears' 55-hour long marriage didn't change how people felt about the institution of marriage, this certainly will not. I am not saying that Spears is the public figure of the time, but everyone knows her. I do admire Lambert's ideals, as well has her willingness to marry a random stranger on a whim.

Iranian Female Skier: Will She Bring Home the Gold?

Marjan Kalhor, a female from Iran finally gets her chance to be in the Olympics this year in Canada. This is monumental in the history of the country. She is the first female to be entered into the Winter Olympics from Iran (they have had females in the Summer Olympics). One of the reasons why females have not been able to compete is stated in this article. The basic principle of it is that since they are representing Iran, they must bring the culture of Iran, and in doing so, they are required to wear the traditional Iranian female clothes. As Kalhor points out in an interview, "Skiing is a sport where you have to be fully dressed. So there is no problem with clothes" (Simone).

With this issue, I am rather torn. Part of me is excited that Iran is finally working towards a more balanced team (the team they are sending for the skiing competition is composed of four people, Kalhor and three men). The other part of me, however, is disappointed that it has taken so long for this to happen. Of course, when any event such as this happens, I am generally more excited than I am disappointed. I feel that this is a big step in regaining some of the country's reputation, at least in my own world view. While this may not be the most exciting news for the public at large, for a feminist (oh yes, I will call myself a feminist) such as myself, I believe this to be a very important event.

Generally for the Winter Olympics, I only tend to follow the incredibly exciting sport of Curling...

Oh yes, you can really feel the intensity

This year, however, I do believe I will need to follow skiing, if for no other reason, to root for Kalhor. I want her to show Iran (and other countries with similar ideals) that Women can bring home the gold!

A change in Style, in Topics, and in Attitude

Originally, this blog was made so that I could blog about Humor in our lives, and how it related to the topics discussed in my Rhetoric of Laughter class. However, with permission from my new professor, I am able to change this blog from humor to Gender (which I had intended to do anyway even before I started this class - see this post) in order to further my studies.

Although humor may still come into play for this blog, the focus will be primarily on gender and how I see it, what is changing, and how far we've come. I hope you enjoy reading this!

P.S.: Professor Rensing, please do not count this as my first blog post, this is for my other followers...all four of them!