So I was looking at http://contexts.org/socimages/, another site that I frequent, and one of the recent posts was about internet usage.
This post was based on polls taken about what it is used for, if you could live without it, etc.
30% of users said that the internet is a good place to find a boyfriend/girlfriend.
This got me thinking about all of the online dating sites out there.
I checked 4 different sites out: www.Match.com, www.eharmony.com, www.okcupid.com, and www.chemistry.com.
When you go to the homepage of any of these sites, there is always a section to sign up for the site. When I first saw this, a couple things popped out to me.
The first thing was that at each of these sites, the defaults were automatically set to "Female". Are they implying that women tend to use these sites more often than men? (I will note, however, that statistically, this may be the case, I am not sure). Maybe the implication is that women almost need to use these sites whereas men do not.
The second thing I noticed is that there privilege at work. These sites are set up in binaries. When you sign up, you either have to put female, or male. There is no option for the trans individuals out there who also would like their chance at love.
Chemistry.com is the extreme example of these. Match, eHarmony, and OkCupid all contain pull-down menus (which are still defaulted to female), but Chemistry has the (not sure what to call it) circle option.
The third thing that I noticed is compulsory heterosexuality at work. Each site, regardless of format, is set to "I am Female seeking a Male" or some variation thereof. The most extreme example of this is for eHarmony. While they now have the option for same-sex interests (initially, since they are a Christian based organization, they only had heterosexual interests in mind (they also argued that same-sex relationships do not follow their 29 compatible dimensions)), if you change the "I am a _____" from female to male, the "seeking" menu also changes from male to female.
Next, since we're still looking at privilege. On three of these sites (OkCupid being the exception), bisexuality is not even an option. Here, both hetero- and homosexuality are privileged.
And finally, three of these sites (again with OkCupid being the exception) all require monthly payments to receive their services. Now it is those with expendable income that are privileged.
Just some food for thought on how Adrianne Rich graces us once again with her ideas of Compulsive Heterosexuality.
Showing posts with label OkCupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OkCupid. Show all posts
Monday, March 29, 2010
Maybe Males Need...
Maybe males need to brush up on their science...well, most males. An interesting article from www.cracked.com today is titled "6 Things Men Do To Get Laid That Science Says Turn Women Off". The title gives a very brief summary as to what the article is about.
I will note, however, that I recognize that this website is a humor website. Having said that, the authors tend to do their research. Through this, and other similar articles, they link to their sources, many of which are news stories about these studies, some are directly linked to the study themselves.
Here are the 6 things that Men do:
6: Talking To Her
5: Acting Interested
4: Dancing
3: Complimenting Her Looks
2: Being Nice
1: Having the Wrong Name
There are a lot of interesting points made in this article and even this list.
A basic summary of each portion:
6: Talking to Her - Basically, the article and the source says that the more attractive a woman is, the male becomes less intelligent, at least in that moment and shortly after. Science attributes this to the fact that females are generally less interested in looks, whereas males are "reproductively focused". This basically means that men are in it to have sex with an attractive female, so they are unable to think as clearly while alone.
5: Acting Interested - This portion says that women enjoy to be ignored. Well, not in those words. Essentially, it's the whole "you want what you can't have" idea, but this one is more of a "you want what doesn't want you". What's really interesting about this section is that the dating site, OkCupid did a study and realized that men who had profile pictures of themselves were contacted 50% more often if the profile picture was of them NOT looking directly at the camera.
4: Dancing - If you're a good dancer, you're more likely to get a woman according to this study. This idea behind this is that subconsciously, a good dancer, to a woman, shows signs of being a good mating partner. The idea is that a good dancer will have high levels of testosterone.
3: Complimenting Her Looks - This one states that men were rejected more often if they used words like beautiful, glamorous, gorgeous, and other similar words. What did work, was acting interested, not in her, but in her hobbies and pastime activities.
2: Being Nice - Guys, if you want a girl, be the bad guy, at least according to this study. There are three areas that attract a girl to the "bad boy" idea (the study called this the Dark Traid)
- Exploitation
- Callous Behavior
- Self-Obsession
However, the study also notes that while women are inherently attracted to the bad boy, the bad boy also tends to make bade life partners. So...score one for us good guys!
1: Having the Wrong Name - If you're a male, and your name is Michale, James, or David, you can consider yourself lucky. Those three names are the luckiest, most successful, and wealthiest names for men. "Apparently, your first name can drastically influence how successful you are and, yes, even how attractive people think you are."
The best part about reading this article is realizing just how men act. Even at the local bars, college students do these things all of the time. They might as well carry a checklist with the 6 on a card...after an hour, they could probably withdraw themselves from any of the categories; and, if the article is 100% correct, withdraw themselves from any potential sexual encounter that night.
I will note, however, that I recognize that this website is a humor website. Having said that, the authors tend to do their research. Through this, and other similar articles, they link to their sources, many of which are news stories about these studies, some are directly linked to the study themselves.
Here are the 6 things that Men do:
6: Talking To Her
5: Acting Interested
4: Dancing
3: Complimenting Her Looks
2: Being Nice
1: Having the Wrong Name
There are a lot of interesting points made in this article and even this list.
A basic summary of each portion:
6: Talking to Her - Basically, the article and the source says that the more attractive a woman is, the male becomes less intelligent, at least in that moment and shortly after. Science attributes this to the fact that females are generally less interested in looks, whereas males are "reproductively focused". This basically means that men are in it to have sex with an attractive female, so they are unable to think as clearly while alone.
5: Acting Interested - This portion says that women enjoy to be ignored. Well, not in those words. Essentially, it's the whole "you want what you can't have" idea, but this one is more of a "you want what doesn't want you". What's really interesting about this section is that the dating site, OkCupid did a study and realized that men who had profile pictures of themselves were contacted 50% more often if the profile picture was of them NOT looking directly at the camera.
4: Dancing - If you're a good dancer, you're more likely to get a woman according to this study. This idea behind this is that subconsciously, a good dancer, to a woman, shows signs of being a good mating partner. The idea is that a good dancer will have high levels of testosterone.
3: Complimenting Her Looks - This one states that men were rejected more often if they used words like beautiful, glamorous, gorgeous, and other similar words. What did work, was acting interested, not in her, but in her hobbies and pastime activities.
2: Being Nice - Guys, if you want a girl, be the bad guy, at least according to this study. There are three areas that attract a girl to the "bad boy" idea (the study called this the Dark Traid)
- Exploitation
- Callous Behavior
- Self-Obsession
However, the study also notes that while women are inherently attracted to the bad boy, the bad boy also tends to make bade life partners. So...score one for us good guys!
1: Having the Wrong Name - If you're a male, and your name is Michale, James, or David, you can consider yourself lucky. Those three names are the luckiest, most successful, and wealthiest names for men. "Apparently, your first name can drastically influence how successful you are and, yes, even how attractive people think you are."
The best part about reading this article is realizing just how men act. Even at the local bars, college students do these things all of the time. They might as well carry a checklist with the 6 on a card...after an hour, they could probably withdraw themselves from any of the categories; and, if the article is 100% correct, withdraw themselves from any potential sexual encounter that night.
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