Compulsive Heterosexuality with a Dash of Privilege

So I was looking at http://contexts.org/socimages/, another site that I frequent, and one of the recent posts was about internet usage.

This post was based on polls taken about what it is used for, if you could live without it, etc.

30% of users said that the internet is a good place to find a boyfriend/girlfriend.

This got me thinking about all of the online dating sites out there.

I checked 4 different sites out: www.Match.com, www.eharmony.com, www.okcupid.com, and www.chemistry.com.

When you go to the homepage of any of these sites, there is always a section to sign up for the site. When I first saw this, a couple things popped out to me.

The first thing was that at each of these sites, the defaults were automatically set to "Female". Are they implying that women tend to use these sites more often than men? (I will note, however, that statistically, this may be the case, I am not sure). Maybe the implication is that women almost need to use these sites whereas men do not.

The second thing I noticed is that there privilege at work. These sites are set up in binaries. When you sign up, you either have to put female, or male. There is no option for the trans individuals out there who also would like their chance at love.

Chemistry.com is the extreme example of these. Match, eHarmony, and OkCupid all contain pull-down menus (which are still defaulted to female), but Chemistry has the (not sure what to call it) circle option.

The third thing that I noticed is compulsory heterosexuality at work. Each site, regardless of format, is set to "I am Female seeking a Male" or some variation thereof. The most extreme example of this is for eHarmony. While they now have the option for same-sex interests (initially, since they are a Christian based organization, they only had heterosexual interests in mind (they also argued that same-sex relationships do not follow their 29 compatible dimensions)), if you change the "I am a _____" from female to male, the "seeking" menu also changes from male to female.

Next, since we're still looking at privilege. On three of these sites (OkCupid being the exception), bisexuality is not even an option. Here, both hetero- and homosexuality are privileged.

And finally, three of these sites (again with OkCupid being the exception) all require monthly payments to receive their services. Now it is those with expendable income that are privileged.

Just some food for thought on how Adrianne Rich graces us once again with her ideas of Compulsive Heterosexuality.

Dial Soap for Men...

So yesterday, I ran out of body wash. While at the store shopping for more, I saw a black bottle with a red label (oh Gendered advertising). It was for Dial - Magnetic. If you're unaware of what this brand is, or claims to do, it is a pheromone enhanced body wash.

Here is a brief rundown of the website:
From that link, you choose one of two areas - "Dial - Magnetic" or "Dial for Men"
If you choose the "Dial-Magnetic" link, you are directed to the second page of that site which asks, "What is your current relationship status?"

The choices are:
1: Utterly Alone
2: Single and Mingle(ing)
3: Hating Dating
4: Relationship Rut
5: Magnetic
Now of course, when you choose one of these options, they do not actually go to different areas. They all lead to the same interactive menu. (I'm wondering if it's just a mini "survey" that Dial uses for some statistic)

So the first message that consumers get when looking at this website is that A) It's wrong to be single (or at least, undesirable)

One of the links, "Magnetic 101", has the second paragraph that states, "We're not saying that our new pheromone enhanced body was will cause you to be attacked by hordes of sex-crazed females, but if that is your end-game, you should consider it a piece of the equation not to be ignored".

When you look at some of the other links, particularly the "How Magnetic Are You? link, you are directed to this message:

Dial for Men Magnetic Attraction Enhancing Body Wash can certainly help you become magnetic, but chemical attraction isn't the only factor. Research has shown time after time that the following factors are of highest importance when a female is choosing her mate: Looks, Personality, Social Status.

So, it seems that the second message that this site is telling us is what Adrianne Rich would refer to as, "Compulsory Heterosexuality". What is compulsory heterosexuality? Basically, it means that people are (for the most part) unconsciously forced into being heterosexual. Nearly every image in nearly every advertisement focuses on heterosexual relationships and attractions. It goes beyond advertising, however. Movies, television shows, family, friends, teachers, etc.; everyone and everything (Aside from the LGBTQ community and its allies) is sending messages that "you're supposed to be straight".

To their credit, the "scientist" explaining the science behind the soap is not the best looking thing on the face of the earth. He actually just seems like the "average" guy. Of course, this is really what advertisers do for males, pick average men, so that they can relate more easily to the product.