Queer as Choice

If you’re unaware of what has been going on in the news lately, there’s been a lot of talk, as is similar to the last five or so years, of the Queer community in America.

I’d like to just put it out there, that for those of you who assume otherwise, I am using the term “queer” as an inclusive and empowering term. While this term has been deemed derogatory by many, including many members of the Queer community due to the past use, the Queer community is taking it back.

Again, if you haven’t heard, in the past month, there have been numerous suicides that have been attributed to Anti-Queer bullying (referred to as LGBT in the Media, yet that is still much too restrictive, as some of the individuals did not self-identify as LGBTQ, but were merely perceived as LGBTQ). Some of the individuals who have taken their lives were as young as twelve or thirteen years old. Others were in college. In response to this, Dan Savage created a series entitled, “It Gets Better”. What this does is encourage individuals, usually adults, to create videos about harassment that they received and to let the younger generations know that “it gets better”.

Many of these videos share similar themes: a sad story, followed by empowering words. I enjoy these videos, and for anyone who possibly reads this who may think otherwise, it DOES get better.

Additionally, some of the other headline news stories include a Federal Judge ruling DADT unconstitutional and appeals to this ruling, numerous attacks, especially in the New York City area on queer individuals, and countless stories surrounding the upcoming November Elections.

One that has stuck out recently to me is the story of the Colorado GOP candidate, Ken Buck.

Below is a transcript of a small portion of the interview with Buck:

Gregory: “Do you believe that being gay is a choice?”

Buck: “I do”

Gregory: “Based on what?”

Buck: “Based on what? I guess you can choose who your partner is”

There are a couple things that I find interesting. Ken Buck first seems to say that being gay is inherently a choice, but then switches, although not explicitly, to taking on the gay identity is a choice.

People constantly say that being gay is a choice. Well I can tell you from personal knowledge, it is not a choice. I did not choose to be attracted to other men. However, I know that those who do not agree will not be changed by that simple statement.

I will say, however, that I am one to argue that expressing that desire and acting on that attraction is a choice.

One common argument when people say it’s a choice is to counter with, “well, when did you choose to be heterosexual/straight?” Often, the other person is stummped here, as they realize there was not a defining moment when they woke up in the morning and said, “I am straight”.

I find it interesting, though, when people bypass the “gay is a choice” argument, and move on to the “expressing that is the choice” argument. To which I believe there can be an effective counter.

Fairly recently, I was involved in a nice civilized conversation with someone who firmly believes that the expression of my queerness is a choice; this person is also very religious and expresses it. So I asked this individual a question.

“Do you believe your religion is a choice?”

 

While the answer here can vary depending on the religious fervor of the individual, the followup question and answer has not in the past for me differed greatly.

To follow up, I asked, “Would you ever openly express a religion other than your own and claim that it is your religion?”

The answer has been no. Why, because it would by lying.

A similar notion is held by those individuals who openly identify as queer. Why would we AND why should we want to hide who we are after we finally feel comfortable to fully express ourselves?

Who's to Blame?

So I'm sitting here reading status updates on facebook. A common thing for me to do, it tends to make my morning better, at least when I see certain updates/comments.

One of my favorite things to see is when students get in trouble either by the cops or residence-hall staff (CAs usually) and they complain about this.

I wonder when people will realize that they need to take responsibility for their own actions. It is not the fault of CAs or the Police that people were caught. I can't say how many times I have confronted rooms because I hear something along the lines of "Chug, Chug, Chug!" or, "I bet you can't take all of those shots!". (What makes it better is when the people inside the room try to claim that they didn't say that).

Where am I going with this?

Well, first and foremost, rules are in place for a reason, as are laws. It is illegal to drink before 21. I am not perfect, I drank before I was 21. Back in high school I drank, and freshmen year of college I drank. However, I was not stupid about it. I never got caught.  Then, however, I became a CA. Becoming a CA has drastically changed my views on many issues.

To hear people say that we as CAs and other university officials are ruining their lives is incredibly comical. It is their own fault.

What this post boils down to is a call for people to take responsibility for their own actions. Don't be mad at CAs, don't be mad at University Police. The only person you have to be mad at is yourself.

/End Rant

A Gleeky Madonna

So I will admit it; I am a gleek!

For those of you who don't know or are not tuning in Tuesday nights to watch it, Glee is a television show on Fox that follows a high school glee club, New Directions. The club initially consists of 6 females and 6 males. But it's sort of a "musical" style show. There are anywhere from ~4-7 songs in each hour-long episode. The songs range from pop, to rock, to rap, to hip-hop. Every kind of song has been played by numerous artists; everyone can enjoy some music in the show.

*Side note: I will admit, that there is quite a lot of drama in the show, of which I am not a fan, but the music is absolutely fantastic; it is the reason I watch the show.

But anyway, this most recent episode of Glee appropriately entitled, "The Power of Madonna" contained only Madonna songs.

The entire episode was about empowerment of everyone as well as changing perceptions and attitudes towards others.

It was, drama aside, one of the best episodes of Glee that has aired so far.

My favorite scene from this episode contained this song (this is the Glee Version, just not the clip). It was the song, "What it Feels Like For a Girl"; however, what made the song really interesting was that it was sung entirely by guys.

You can find the lyrics here.

The whole scene, though, is really a powerful scene, hopefully one that will change the perceptions of viewers surrounding masculinity and femininity.

After the song, one of the main male characters, Puck (a typical jock) started off an interesting conversation.

Puck: I'm not doing this, I like being a dude!
Finn: That's because it's easy to be a dude
Puck: Uhh, Mr. Schue, I think we're going to need a new baritone because Fine would like to become Finnessa.
Schuester: Woah wait hold on now Puck, Finn has a point.

Essentially, what Glee is doing is showing the world that it's ok for guys to be feminine and girls to be masculine, and that it's not ok for guys to objectify women (a major portion of the continued conversation).

I will say this, "The Power of Madonna" episode has only strengthened my appreciation for Madonna.

*End note - This is my last official class blog post. I do, however, intend to continue blogging. While the topics now are not as limited, I can guarantee you most of the major themes mentioned in the last 20 posts will remain a dominating presence.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

The other day, I was talking with a friend about how the concept of "love" is really lost by our generation, and certainly lost by the upcoming generation. If not lost, it is under appreciated. At first, I really had mixed feelings on this subject. I was not sure why I had these feelings, nor was I sure, after greater deliberation, where I stood on this subject.

Both my friend and I admitted to us being fairly old-fashioned in the sense that it takes us a while to physically say those "magic words", "I love you". Looking back on some of my past relationships, even the longest ones, I have not said "I love you" to any of my significant others. Granted, part of this may be due to the fact that some lasted no longer than a month.

This really got me thinking. Do I take too long to love someone, or does everyone else seem to jump to the "love" stage too quickly?

My thought on this, people jump in way too quickly.

Based on observations of my friends, I see too many people who jump in right away towards the love direction. Rather than taking their time to make sure that they really love the other person, they, after two or three dates even, skip to the love state.

This, I have heard, is referred to as the "honeymoon state". What I consider this to be is a state where people put on a different persona for the first couple of dates trying to impress the other individual. In doing so, they give off a far different aspect of who they really are. Because of this, it is easy to see why this honeymoon stage leads to "love". However it is after this stage that the true nature of a person comes out; this is when love is shattered and hearts are broken, despite the short-lived relationship.

I would like to say that I haven't committed this same "act" of falling for someone too early in a relationship, but I have not gotten to that "love" stage. To me, the word 'love' is a very powerful word; this is the same with the opposite word: hate.word on the other end of the spectrum: hate. Love and hate are the epitome of these positive and negative feelings towards another person. There is this spectrum that, for me, is very hard to feel these emotions towards anyone. It takes a long time.

What are your thoughts on love and our generation?

America is not Ready?

AT&T's new promotion - "Rethink Possible": What they see as possible in their new commercial is a future of the United States where the 57th president is exactly what it has been until Obama.

The commercial starts out with an announcer saying, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the 57th President of the United States". During this scene, it shows a white, middle-aged male stepping up to a balcony to greet the audience.

For a company that has the new slogan, "Rethink Possible", one would think that they would not want to use what is possible, and let's face it, probable in the next Presidential election.

Rather than a white, middle-aged man, they should have used a woman, or another person of color.

What really got me about this commercial is that they had a man again as president. With Sarah Palin coming up as the likely GOP candidate, and an unknown (possibly Hilary Clinton?) as the likely Democratic Nomination, it is very possible to have two front-runner candidates that are women. Although, it is unlikely, as unfortunate as that is to say, that we will have a female president soon.

With Obama's approval rating dropping almost daily, I fear that many people will say, "well look what happened with Obama!" or other similar phrases.

I feel that AT&T does not think that it's possible to have a female president as our Nation's 57th president, yet, this is what their whole new ad campaign revolves around, rethinking (the) possible. Maybe we're not ready yet?

Sexist Friends on Facebook

So, I was checking out Facebook today and I noticed something interesting. Some of my friends joined this group.

Basically, it's called, "Why do women go to college? they don't need a degree to make a sandwich".

What makes this really interesting...is that most of the friends who joined it...were women! Clearly, they have not taken this class.

This is one of those isolated incidents that to those who joined, doesn't mean anything. They see it as a joke. Of course we know that this is not the case. Each of these isolated incidents perpetuates the stereotypes and negative attitudes towards independent women.

It's just frustrating that people do not realize what this really does. In addition, they just don't realize what it says about them.

As mean as it may be to say, I am interested to see how many negative experiences people have due to their Facebooks: pictures, statuses, groups, etc. All of these may affect job opportunities in their future. If only they listened during Freshmen Orientation!

Everything is Drag...

So last night (Friday, April 9th) Rainbow Alliance for HOPE held their 10th annual Drag Show here at UW Oshkosh. This event is one of my favorite events to attend during what is now called Rainbow Week (it used to be called BGLAD week). 

Every year, HOPE brings in a professional company for a night of fun. This year, however, (as well as last year) they are introducing local talent. At this year's performance, they had two UW Oshkosh students, one, Duane, a graduate student, and the other, our class' very own Garret!


Unfortunately, I do not have pictures of these two performing, because I took video. But I will post some random pictures of the professional company. 

Seeing this drag show reminded me of Judith Butler when she says, "drag constitutes the mundane way in which genders are appropriated, theatricalized, worn, and done" (Imitation and Gender Insubordination). (Side note: While I love reading Butler, I do not recommend her to most people...she's tough to get through!)


But one of the things that Butler is saying in her essay is that everyone does drag every day of their life. When you wake up in the morning (whether or not you are feeling like P-Diddy...hehe), and you put on your clothes, those clothes are all drag. 


We can even look to the famous RuPaul in saying, "we all came into this world naked, the rest of it is all drag".

The atmosphere of the drag show was absolutely unbelievable. The underground was packed! It was so difficult for people to get anywhere, even the performers who braved going out into the audience. All-in-all, it was an amazing night, and I would recommend, if you have the chance, to go and see your first professional Drag show! It will change the way you think about the world...especially because some of the performers...you wouldn't be able to tell if you didn't know...