If you’re unaware of what has been going on in the news lately, there’s been a lot of talk, as is similar to the last five or so years, of the Queer community in America.
I’d like to just put it out there, that for those of you who assume otherwise, I am using the term “queer” as an inclusive and empowering term. While this term has been deemed derogatory by many, including many members of the Queer community due to the past use, the Queer community is taking it back.
Again, if you haven’t heard, in the past month, there have been numerous suicides that have been attributed to Anti-Queer bullying (referred to as LGBT in the Media, yet that is still much too restrictive, as some of the individuals did not self-identify as LGBTQ, but were merely perceived as LGBTQ). Some of the individuals who have taken their lives were as young as twelve or thirteen years old. Others were in college. In response to this, Dan Savage created a series entitled, “It Gets Better”. What this does is encourage individuals, usually adults, to create videos about harassment that they received and to let the younger generations know that “it gets better”. Many of these videos share similar themes: a sad story, followed by empowering words. I enjoy these videos, and for anyone who possibly reads this who may think otherwise, it DOES get better.
Additionally, some of the other headline news stories include a Federal Judge ruling DADT unconstitutional and appeals to this ruling, numerous attacks, especially in the New York City area on queer individuals, and countless stories surrounding the upcoming November Elections.
One that has stuck out recently to me is the story of the Colorado GOP candidate, Ken Buck.
Below is a transcript of a small portion of the interview with Buck:
Gregory: “Do you believe that being gay is a choice?”
Buck: “I do”
Gregory: “Based on what?”
Buck: “Based on what? I guess you can choose who your partner is”
There are a couple things that I find interesting. Ken Buck first seems to say that being gay is inherently a choice, but then switches, although not explicitly, to taking on the gay identity is a choice.
People constantly say that being gay is a choice. Well I can tell you from personal knowledge, it is not a choice. I did not choose to be attracted to other men. However, I know that those who do not agree will not be changed by that simple statement.
I will say, however, that I am one to argue that expressing that desire and acting on that attraction is a choice.
One common argument when people say it’s a choice is to counter with, “well, when did you choose to be heterosexual/straight?” Often, the other person is stummped here, as they realize there was not a defining moment when they woke up in the morning and said, “I am straight”.
I find it interesting, though, when people bypass the “gay is a choice” argument, and move on to the “expressing that is the choice” argument. To which I believe there can be an effective counter.
Fairly recently, I was involved in a nice civilized conversation with someone who firmly believes that the expression of my queerness is a choice; this person is also very religious and expresses it. So I asked this individual a question.
“Do you believe your religion is a choice?”
While the answer here can vary depending on the religious fervor of the individual, the followup question and answer has not in the past for me differed greatly.
To follow up, I asked, “Would you ever openly express a religion other than your own and claim that it is your religion?”
The answer has been no. Why, because it would by lying.
A similar notion is held by those individuals who openly identify as queer. Why would we AND why should we want to hide who we are after we finally feel comfortable to fully express ourselves?
